Rain was on her way home when the rain started to drizzle. To avoid herself be soaked under the rain, she turn around to find a shelter until she saw that big old tree standing not so far a way from where she was.
She hurriedly runs towards it and she reaches it before the rain could touch her skin. Then, the rain started to pour down hard. She just stayed there and waited for the rain to stop but it never did. Thunder roar and lightning crash, Rain felt scared, she doesn’t know what to do now. Her heart never stops from beating so fast. She really wanted to go home but she can’t. This is what she gets from not bringing an umbrella with her. She wanted to cry but thought that it won’t help. But then, she calms herself and decided to pray. She wishes for someone to come and help her. She had no choice but to wait, it was the only that she could do. Until time passes her by, no one came to help and it was still raining hard. Rain could not take it anymore. She breaks down on her knees and cries. Her tears falls like the rain, hard and never ending.
Suddenly, she felt a presence approaching her, she knew someone came but she refused to believe. “Rain...” she heard a man’s voice calling her name. His voice sounds familiar she thought but she couldn’t figure out who he is. Rain look up to face him. He was standing in front of her, holding an umbrella. She saw him smiled. Rain realized that she doesn’t know him but he looked familiar though. She knew she’d seen him somewhere but she couldn’t remember when and where. “Hi, do you still remember me?” she heard him asked. It was because of that question that made Rain realize that he was the same boy she always sees in her dreams. He used to ask that same question too. When she didn’t reply, he would walk away. Rain was about to answer him when he said. “It’s alright if you don’t, I came to help you,” then he hand her his hand to help her to stand. Rain wiped her falling tears and then she took his hands. “Thank you,” she said smiling at him. They walk under the rain silently. She could still feel his hands holding hers. She stared at her secretly but was surprised when she saw him staring at her too. It was because of her curiosity that she decided to ask for his name.
“You know, I really don’t want to ask you this, but can you please tell me who you are?” she asked. She saw him break into a smile.
“My name is Tracy...” he answered in a girl’s voice.
“Tracy?” she asked surprised and almost wondering. “Yes I’m Tracy, your sister!” she replied again.
Rain opens her eyes and saw her sister smiling and sitting beside her. She got up to bed surprisingly.
“What are you doing here?” she asked irritated. Then she realizes that the hand that she was holding was her sister's, she let it go instatntly. Her sister broke into a laugh. “Not funny! What are you doing here Tracy?” She told angrily. Tracy smiles at her. ”Happy Birthday sis!” she greeted. Suddenly, her anger disappeared. She was touched. “Aww...thank you Tracy,” Then they hug each other. They both jump up to bed when they hear the loud roaring of thunder outside. “It’s raining?” Rain asked Tracy as she walked towards the window and peered outside. “what’s new? It's always raining on your birthday,” Tracy said. “Really? Is that the reason why I’m called rain?” Tracy nodded. “Yes!” she Tracy stood beside her and saw her expression change. “I wish I could remember everything,” Rain said sadly as she held a deep sigh. Tracy felt the same way too. “Aww... don’t worry, you will sis, just keep on believing,” she told Rain and gently put her hand on her shoulder. Rain manages to smile though her eyes really wanted to cry.
“Tracy, I’m just going out, I’ll be back soon,” Rain yelled at her sister as she closes the door behind her. She opens her umbrella and was about to leave when she notice a bouquet of flower laying in their door step. It was a bouquet of Forget-me-not flowers. A smile curved to her face as she picks it up but she when she was holding it, her head suddenly aches, and a memory flash through her mind.
Rain saw herself sitting beside this boy, he gave her the flower. Because it was her first time to see a flower like that she ask him what it is. “It’s a forget-me-not,” the boy said. “That’s my favourite flower, and it’s also my gift for you so that you won’t forget me someday...” the boy said. “Forget you? Why would I?”
Rain saw herself asked. Then everything went blurry after that. Rain decided to ignore the pain and read the card instead, “Happy birthday!” the card said, “I wish you still remember me,” the card doesn’t have a name, and Rain wondered who gave it. She decided to look around, hoping to see that someone who gave the flowers and she never failed, she see a boy moving away from their house. “Wait!” she called out. He looks back at her but when he saw her, he walk away. Rain followed him. “Wait please! Don’t go!” she called out again. “I only want to thank you!” but he didn't stop, he wasn't even listening.
Rain continued following him. They boy started to run, Rain run too.
Her head started to ache again, and then she remembers something.
0"Wait, Marcus, don’t leave me please,” she called out to him. She was following a boy, a boy she called Marcus. The boy keeps on running and ignored everything she said. But she never stop and she still run after him. “Rain, go home now, stop following me!” she heard him shouted back. “Please don’t leave me Marcus, why are you leaving me?” the boy did not answer.
Everything went blurry again. Rain saw him moving far away now, so she started to run. “Wait!” she called out again. “Just tell me who you are please,” Because she was running after the boy she did not notice the approaching car. She just heard the loud horn and saw that bright light that almost stops her heart from beating.
Then everything went blank.
Rain was on her way home when the rain started to drizzle. To avoid herself be soaked under the rain, she turn around to find a shelter until she saw that big old tree standing not so far a way from where she was. Rain hurriedly runs towards it and she reaches it before the rain could touch her skin. Then, the rain started to pour down hard. She just stayed there and waited for the rain to stop but it never did. Thunder roar and lightning crash, Rain felt scared, she doesn’t know what to do now. Her heart never stops from beating so fast. She really wanted to go home but she can’t. This is what she gets from not bringing an umbrella with her. She wanted to cry but thought that it won’t help. But then, she calms herself and decided to pray. She wishes for someone to come and help her. She had no choice but to wait it was the only that she could do. Until time passes her by, no one came to help and it was still raining hard. Rain could not take it anymore. She breaks down on her knees and cries. Her tears falls like the rain, hard and never ending. Suddenly, she felt a presence approaching her, she knew someone came but she refused to believe. “Rain...” she heard a man’s voice calling her name.. Rain look up to face him. He was standing in front of her. She saw him smiled. Rain smiled too. “Marcus...” she got up and hugs him. “Thank God you’re here,” she told him when she let him go. “I came here to take you home but too bad I don’t have an umbrella too,” he told her. Rain broke into a smile. “That’s alright, let just wait for the rain to stop,” Marcus hand her something. It was a flower. Because it was her first time to see a flower like that she ask him what it is. “It’s a forget-me-not, that’s my favorite flower,” he told. “Wow! It’s beautiful, but Marcus, why are you giving me this?” “That’s my gift for you so that you won’t forget me someday...” Marcus replied. “Forget you? Why would I?” she asked wondering. “I could never forget you, you’re my best friend,” Marcus bitterly smiled. “I know... but let’s just say, that’s my gift for you on your birthday,” “But Marcus, it’s not yet my birthday, you should give me this on that day,” she told him. “But I don’t think that I will be here on your birthday,” Marcus said. Rain was surprised in what she heard. “What? What are you saying?” “Rain, I’m leaving, my family is moving to states today” he told her sadly as the lightning crash. “That’s not true, you’re just joking right?” Rain refuses to believe him. “No...I’m serious,” she heard him said. She couldn't help it, she felt her tears slowly falling down her eyes. ”No, you’re just joking, I know, you won’t leave me,” “I really don’t want to Rain but I have no choice,” he told her. “and besides, it’s just the place Rain, nothing will ever change, you’re still my bestfriend and I won’t forget you forever,” Marcus hugs her. “But why leave today? Why not tomorrow, I still don’t have a gift for you, you know something to remember,” Rain tried to hold back her tears. “I have enough memories to remember about you Rain,” he told her smiling as he wipes her tears. “I’m sorry Rain...” he said. “I really don’t want to make you cry,” Rain wanted to tell him something but she stop when they heard Marcus’ phone ring. It was a text. She saw Marcus’ expression changes as he read it. “I have to go now,” he said softly then hugs her again. “Goodbye Rain, I won’t forget you,” he whispered then let her go. He started to walk away. Rain tried to stop him but he was far away now. She runs after him. “wait, Marcus, don’t leave me please,” she called out. But Marcus ignored her and he didn’t look back. “Rain, go home now, stop following me!” she heard him shouted back. “Please don’t leave me Marcus, why are you leaving me?” Marcus did not answer. Rain saw him moving far away now. Even though she was soaking, she didn’t stop, she still run after him. Because she was busy following him, she did not notice the approaching car. She felt herself froze when she saw it coming. She couldn’t move. She just heard the loud horn and saw that bright light that almost stops her heart from beating.
Then everything went blank.
Rain felt the rain slowly touching her skin, it had awakened her. She feels someone holding her and calling her name. The sound of the voice is familiar; she had heard it many times before. She gently opens her eyes and a smile curved on her face when she saw him. “It’s you...” she said as got up and sits beside him. Rain remembered everything now, the memory that she saw happened two months ago before her birthday.
“The way you wanted it,” The boy smiled and hand the flower back to her. “Happy birthday! Do you remember me now?”
She hurriedly runs towards it and she reaches it before the rain could touch her skin. Then, the rain started to pour down hard. She just stayed there and waited for the rain to stop but it never did. Thunder roar and lightning crash, Rain felt scared, she doesn’t know what to do now. Her heart never stops from beating so fast. She really wanted to go home but she can’t. This is what she gets from not bringing an umbrella with her. She wanted to cry but thought that it won’t help. But then, she calms herself and decided to pray. She wishes for someone to come and help her. She had no choice but to wait, it was the only that she could do. Until time passes her by, no one came to help and it was still raining hard. Rain could not take it anymore. She breaks down on her knees and cries. Her tears falls like the rain, hard and never ending.
Suddenly, she felt a presence approaching her, she knew someone came but she refused to believe. “Rain...” she heard a man’s voice calling her name. His voice sounds familiar she thought but she couldn’t figure out who he is. Rain look up to face him. He was standing in front of her, holding an umbrella. She saw him smiled. Rain realized that she doesn’t know him but he looked familiar though. She knew she’d seen him somewhere but she couldn’t remember when and where. “Hi, do you still remember me?” she heard him asked. It was because of that question that made Rain realize that he was the same boy she always sees in her dreams. He used to ask that same question too. When she didn’t reply, he would walk away. Rain was about to answer him when he said. “It’s alright if you don’t, I came to help you,” then he hand her his hand to help her to stand. Rain wiped her falling tears and then she took his hands. “Thank you,” she said smiling at him. They walk under the rain silently. She could still feel his hands holding hers. She stared at her secretly but was surprised when she saw him staring at her too. It was because of her curiosity that she decided to ask for his name.
“You know, I really don’t want to ask you this, but can you please tell me who you are?” she asked. She saw him break into a smile.
“My name is Tracy...” he answered in a girl’s voice.
“Tracy?” she asked surprised and almost wondering. “Yes I’m Tracy, your sister!” she replied again.
Rain opens her eyes and saw her sister smiling and sitting beside her. She got up to bed surprisingly.
“What are you doing here?” she asked irritated. Then she realizes that the hand that she was holding was her sister's, she let it go instatntly. Her sister broke into a laugh. “Not funny! What are you doing here Tracy?” She told angrily. Tracy smiles at her. ”Happy Birthday sis!” she greeted. Suddenly, her anger disappeared. She was touched. “Aww...thank you Tracy,” Then they hug each other. They both jump up to bed when they hear the loud roaring of thunder outside. “It’s raining?” Rain asked Tracy as she walked towards the window and peered outside. “what’s new? It's always raining on your birthday,” Tracy said. “Really? Is that the reason why I’m called rain?” Tracy nodded. “Yes!” she Tracy stood beside her and saw her expression change. “I wish I could remember everything,” Rain said sadly as she held a deep sigh. Tracy felt the same way too. “Aww... don’t worry, you will sis, just keep on believing,” she told Rain and gently put her hand on her shoulder. Rain manages to smile though her eyes really wanted to cry.
“Tracy, I’m just going out, I’ll be back soon,” Rain yelled at her sister as she closes the door behind her. She opens her umbrella and was about to leave when she notice a bouquet of flower laying in their door step. It was a bouquet of Forget-me-not flowers. A smile curved to her face as she picks it up but she when she was holding it, her head suddenly aches, and a memory flash through her mind.
Rain saw herself sitting beside this boy, he gave her the flower. Because it was her first time to see a flower like that she ask him what it is. “It’s a forget-me-not,” the boy said. “That’s my favourite flower, and it’s also my gift for you so that you won’t forget me someday...” the boy said. “Forget you? Why would I?”
Rain saw herself asked. Then everything went blurry after that. Rain decided to ignore the pain and read the card instead, “Happy birthday!” the card said, “I wish you still remember me,” the card doesn’t have a name, and Rain wondered who gave it. She decided to look around, hoping to see that someone who gave the flowers and she never failed, she see a boy moving away from their house. “Wait!” she called out. He looks back at her but when he saw her, he walk away. Rain followed him. “Wait please! Don’t go!” she called out again. “I only want to thank you!” but he didn't stop, he wasn't even listening.
Rain continued following him. They boy started to run, Rain run too.
Her head started to ache again, and then she remembers something.
0"Wait, Marcus, don’t leave me please,” she called out to him. She was following a boy, a boy she called Marcus. The boy keeps on running and ignored everything she said. But she never stop and she still run after him. “Rain, go home now, stop following me!” she heard him shouted back. “Please don’t leave me Marcus, why are you leaving me?” the boy did not answer.
Everything went blurry again. Rain saw him moving far away now, so she started to run. “Wait!” she called out again. “Just tell me who you are please,” Because she was running after the boy she did not notice the approaching car. She just heard the loud horn and saw that bright light that almost stops her heart from beating.
Then everything went blank.
Rain was on her way home when the rain started to drizzle. To avoid herself be soaked under the rain, she turn around to find a shelter until she saw that big old tree standing not so far a way from where she was. Rain hurriedly runs towards it and she reaches it before the rain could touch her skin. Then, the rain started to pour down hard. She just stayed there and waited for the rain to stop but it never did. Thunder roar and lightning crash, Rain felt scared, she doesn’t know what to do now. Her heart never stops from beating so fast. She really wanted to go home but she can’t. This is what she gets from not bringing an umbrella with her. She wanted to cry but thought that it won’t help. But then, she calms herself and decided to pray. She wishes for someone to come and help her. She had no choice but to wait it was the only that she could do. Until time passes her by, no one came to help and it was still raining hard. Rain could not take it anymore. She breaks down on her knees and cries. Her tears falls like the rain, hard and never ending. Suddenly, she felt a presence approaching her, she knew someone came but she refused to believe. “Rain...” she heard a man’s voice calling her name.. Rain look up to face him. He was standing in front of her. She saw him smiled. Rain smiled too. “Marcus...” she got up and hugs him. “Thank God you’re here,” she told him when she let him go. “I came here to take you home but too bad I don’t have an umbrella too,” he told her. Rain broke into a smile. “That’s alright, let just wait for the rain to stop,” Marcus hand her something. It was a flower. Because it was her first time to see a flower like that she ask him what it is. “It’s a forget-me-not, that’s my favorite flower,” he told. “Wow! It’s beautiful, but Marcus, why are you giving me this?” “That’s my gift for you so that you won’t forget me someday...” Marcus replied. “Forget you? Why would I?” she asked wondering. “I could never forget you, you’re my best friend,” Marcus bitterly smiled. “I know... but let’s just say, that’s my gift for you on your birthday,” “But Marcus, it’s not yet my birthday, you should give me this on that day,” she told him. “But I don’t think that I will be here on your birthday,” Marcus said. Rain was surprised in what she heard. “What? What are you saying?” “Rain, I’m leaving, my family is moving to states today” he told her sadly as the lightning crash. “That’s not true, you’re just joking right?” Rain refuses to believe him. “No...I’m serious,” she heard him said. She couldn't help it, she felt her tears slowly falling down her eyes. ”No, you’re just joking, I know, you won’t leave me,” “I really don’t want to Rain but I have no choice,” he told her. “and besides, it’s just the place Rain, nothing will ever change, you’re still my bestfriend and I won’t forget you forever,” Marcus hugs her. “But why leave today? Why not tomorrow, I still don’t have a gift for you, you know something to remember,” Rain tried to hold back her tears. “I have enough memories to remember about you Rain,” he told her smiling as he wipes her tears. “I’m sorry Rain...” he said. “I really don’t want to make you cry,” Rain wanted to tell him something but she stop when they heard Marcus’ phone ring. It was a text. She saw Marcus’ expression changes as he read it. “I have to go now,” he said softly then hugs her again. “Goodbye Rain, I won’t forget you,” he whispered then let her go. He started to walk away. Rain tried to stop him but he was far away now. She runs after him. “wait, Marcus, don’t leave me please,” she called out. But Marcus ignored her and he didn’t look back. “Rain, go home now, stop following me!” she heard him shouted back. “Please don’t leave me Marcus, why are you leaving me?” Marcus did not answer. Rain saw him moving far away now. Even though she was soaking, she didn’t stop, she still run after him. Because she was busy following him, she did not notice the approaching car. She felt herself froze when she saw it coming. She couldn’t move. She just heard the loud horn and saw that bright light that almost stops her heart from beating.
Then everything went blank.
Rain felt the rain slowly touching her skin, it had awakened her. She feels someone holding her and calling her name. The sound of the voice is familiar; she had heard it many times before. She gently opens her eyes and a smile curved on her face when she saw him. “It’s you...” she said as got up and sits beside him. Rain remembered everything now, the memory that she saw happened two months ago before her birthday.
“The way you wanted it,” The boy smiled and hand the flower back to her. “Happy birthday! Do you remember me now?”
General:
ReplyDeleteMellow as a memory, damp as a shelter under the rain…
Specifics:
First, it’s nice to read. Subtle romance is there (subtle romance is sometimes better than full blown romance, less risky), so with the smudge of mystery. Sentences almost go efficient, though no one would require you to make it straight to the point because we are dealing with artistic narration here. However, it could be rephrased for better and easier understanding.
Second, some verb tenses could be developed so the reader might not find a hard time distinguishing between “now” and flash backs. Nevertheless, the “blurry” stuff is still a good signature.
Third, I’m just curious. Two months later, when Rain saw Marcus running away from her doorstep after recognizing the FORGET-ME-NOT flowers, why was he running away, even after hearing his name again for the first time after her accident?
Fourth and last, missing words and some tenses aside, you kept me forward reading it. Like it!