Just Friends

I watched him slowly from the distance

And felt this pain again.

I missed him…

So much that I wanted to cry.

I wanted to talk to him but I don’t know what to say.

Will he listen to me and act as if nothing happened?
Will everything  be the way they were before?

I really don’t know.

I try to move an inch but I feel myself walk back.

My heart bleeds.

I could feel it slowly break into pieces.

It’s been days now since we last talk.

And even though, we used to see each other everyday,

It feels like years for me…

We were not like this before.

We were the best of friends.

And we’re always together.

Inseparable, they always say.

Until our feelings change,

It grows to something we never expected.

We even confessed it to each other

I was so glad that we feel the same way too.

I was so happy. He was too!

But despite of all, we agreed to be just friends.

But we had a lot of fun together,

We really had a great time.

Just when I thought everything was okay…

One day, he came to me and ask the question, I was always afraid to answer.

“Can’t we be more than friends?”

I felt myself froze.

I couldn’t speak.

I was speechless.

I don’t know what to say.

Will he understand me if I say “NO”?

I bet he will be mad at me, and then he will leave me.

Alone…

Yes, I do love him.

But our friendship means a lot to me that I couldn't afford to lose it.

But still I try to work things out.

I think carefully before I answered him.

I thought about the future,

I thought that if we give it a chance then if we broke up I might lose him.

Lose the friendship that I valued for how many years.

I don’t want to lose him either

So I just hope he would understand.

I know, no matter how hard and hurtful it is,

He will respect me.

I found myself walking away from him.

I didn't dare to look back.

I don’t want to see those looks in his eyes.

I don’t want to see him crying.

Oh God, I wish he knew how hard it is for me.

That I die the moment I walked away from him.

And leave him behind…

I felt my tears fell.

I slowly wipe it with my bare hands.

It’s been days now,

WE haven’t talk to each other after that.

I don’t know if it’s true but I feel like he was avoiding me

And it’s breaking my heart.

Oh God, I miss him so much!

I miss everything about him.
And all those times we spend together.
Especially now, I always see him with someone else.
And He seems so happy.

Everything is too late now

Nothing could turn us back the way we were before.

I turn around, preparing to leave,

But before that I took a quick glance at him.

Then found him, staring at me.

Then, He smiled.

I felt my heart beat fast.

All my pain suddenly disappeared.

It feels like the heaven’s gate had been opened for me.

My prayers had been answered.

Everything was fine again,

I thought…

I was about to walk towards him

But then I saw him move…

My world seems to stop

He was walking…

Away from me now…

My world suddenly stops revolving.

I stood there frozen.

I could feel my heart breaking.

I felt my tears rolled down my eyes.

I can no longer hold them back

Then, it started raining.

Still, I stood there.

I let myself be soaked under the rain.

As it pours down on me,

I burst out and fell down on my knees.

Wishing that it would wash all the pain that I am feeling.

The rain suddenly stopped,

I couldn't feel it on my skin.

Then, I feel a presence stood in front of me.

I slowly look up.

I saw him.

He stood there, holding an umbrella.

Sweetly, smiling at me.

Then, slowly, he held out his hand…